Mary Carole's Corner

Reflection on CCMI

Jarett — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 15:22:19 +0000

I have so much enjoyed being here in New York. Despite the heat and apartment issues, I have had so much fun feeling like a temporary New Yorker. I don't know of many people who will get to have an experience such as this and I am very grateful. A few days ago that would have been slightly harder to write though. I was trying to maintain a positive attitude about our apartment's deficiencies but it was getting very difficult as I was be awoken throughout the night drenched in sweat and would have to trudge down the hall to restart our feeble air conditioning. We had been awaiting an electrician since tuesday and it felt like we were holding onto a pipe dream as we each day passed and we never heard from them. It was especially taxing on Friday as we were beginning our fourth full day of PILAT, Program In Language Acquisition Techniques. As much as I truly valued all of the paradigm shifting concepts we were learning, I was simply exhausted. To make matters worse NYC was experiencing a record breaking heat wave with temperatures topping off at 104 and feeling like 115 causing me to dread returning to our dysfunctional air conditioning even more. I could barely keep my eyes open for the last afternoon session of language learning and was really dreading the lack of sleep I was sure to experience. The night before as fuses went off every 15 minutes from about 2-4:30am rendering our air conditioning useless I remember praying "Lord, please relieve me of this. I know you know how much I can handle but I feel so helpless. Help to me learn what you want to teach me about myself and what you want to teach me about You." As we ventured home on the subway friday afternoon my dread grew as the subway system was having problems on the hottest day of the year so far and it took us forever to get home. But you will never guess what we came home to...ELECTRICIANS!! It was such an easy fix and now we have fully functioning air conditioning and just in the knick of time. How amazing is our God, who knows just how much we can handle. This was such a great training lesson on preparing to live in Mexico, where the temps won't just feel like 115 they will be 115! We will have the same type of air conditioning units and will most likely experience problems with them at some point. But He KNOWS how much we can handle! Things are and will be hard and difficult at times but He is not gone, He is still there and He knows just how much we can take. I know I have had many times where I feel like He has given me more than I could handle, but was it really? What ways had He already provided for me that I just didn't recognize? Just food for thought... and yes I will need to be reminded of this when I am in Monterrey!!!

Cultural Interview: Dora

Jarett — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 14:20:28 +0000

I met Dora at the park on monday morning. At first I thought she was hispanic but when I asked her where she was from she told me Tunisia. She looked to be around mid 30s, I felt it would be rude to ask. I asked if the girl she was watching was her daughter and she told me know she was her caretaker. Most of the kids at the park that day were with what seemed to be grandparents or babysitters or a day care. She told me she had two boys of her own 6 and 8 and lived in the Inwood area. Her full name is Dorsaf which means "pure pearl" in Arabic. I asked when she had moved to NYC and she told me when she was 25 so I figured that to be about ten years. I asked her if she got to return home often and she said they visited about every three years and that was very important to her because she said that would be the only way for her boys to really learn the language. The Tunisian language is only spoken and not written so you have t be around it alot to learn it she explained. The fact that she didn't mention the importance of seeing family but only the importance of learning the language stuck out to me. She in fact knew six languages; French, Arabic, Tunisian, English, Spanish and Italian. She told me that her favorite language of all was Italian, she described it as beautiful and expressive. One of her roles as a caretaker was to teach the 2 year old little girl she was watching French. I know that she had only been in NYC for about a decade but as the conversation progressed I could tell that though she thought highly of her home culture she now identified more with the New York culture. She described for me how difficult going home was because you had to bring a present for everyone. She told me about how the kids would just play in the streets and not wait to cross the street until the signal told you it was safe and how strange her boys thought that was and she obviously felt that way too. She said when they go to Tunisia her husband has to remind her, these are "our" people. She shared with me an incident where she went into a bakery in her home town and the baker wasn't wearing gloves so she asked him why are you not wearing gloves that is dirty. He cursed her and kicked her out of the bakery she said. She looked at me and said "They even spank their kids there! I wanted to tell them 'dont you know that is illegal!!!" I thought that was very humorous because earlier that day I had already threatened to spank my son. Though I did not share that with her I thought "I wonder what you would think of Tennessee?"

We talked for a while about how important it is to learn about different cultures. That was one of the things she loved about living in NYC. She told me about how a friend she knew from her kids' school invited her over for lunch one day. When she arrived the lady didn't offer her anything to drink just sat down and started talking with her. Dora said "Ok that is weird I will just go with it." Then thirty minutes later the lady asked "Oh would you like some water? I guess I should make us some lunch now..." Dora said this was a horrible way to treat a guest you never cook in front of them and make them wait so long to eat or drink. Food, she said, was very important in Arabic hospitality, you always have it out and offer it with coffee or water as soon as someone enters your home. Oh, and you never invite someone to your home if it isn't clean. We were having such a comfortable conversation that I shared with her how I had broken every one of those practices in my efforts to befriend an Iraqi refugee family in my neighborhood. She had a good laugh as I shared all of my blunders. She also shared with me about visiting a friends house who came from Bhutan. She said as soon as she walked in, even before she had time to take off her coat they pushed a huge plate of food into her hands. She was caught off guard and her friend casually laughed and said "I knew you would think that was different but that is what we do in Bhutan." Then when she was about to eat the friend stopped her and said "No you must feed Buddha before you eat!" And showed Dora how to break off a bite to put before their statue to Buddha before eating. Dora said that she didn't do this because she was Muslim and they don't feed their god, he feeds them. I didn't get to probe this thought any further because the girl she was watching fell and got a boo-boo and then my kids were ready to leave. I wonder what that family does with all the food that gathers before Buddha since it is just a statue?

I saw Dora at a different park on Wednesday when we were getting ready to do our church ministry project "Kid's Day in the Park". I invited her to our program which had no religious message but once she learned I was with the Church she acted a little different towards me. I was so focused on learning from her on monday morning that I shared very little about myself and I wonder if she thought that I was sneak attacking her with Christianity because she kept telling me how she had read the bible but that it only helped her confirm what she believed to be true "that we are all good people and all love the same god". I was sad that our conversation had to end there but I had to start the ministry project. I am praying I run into her again. Who knows though maybe I shocked her by not being pushy...

Fourth of July in NYC!

Jarett — Tue, 05 Jul 2011 15:59:00 +0000

It has been pretty exciting so far, this adventure of moving to NYC for a month!! I am thankful for the few days of sight-seeing we were able to have before our official CCMI start, but I have also really enjoyed the past few days getting to meet the other missionary families and the church we will be working with. This morning (July 4th) was particularly nice since we didn't have to rush off anywhere. We took the kids to two local parks for two reasons. One is that they needed to get out of the apartment and run out some energy but it also gave us a chance to meet some locals. One park, Bennett Park, was a block and half from our apartment and I actually ran into two Uptown Church families while we were there and also was able to perform a very casual cultural interview with a Dominican lady while we were each pushing our children on the swings, more of that later. This park wasn't particularly diverse with at least 50% Caucasians, one African American family, one Hispanic family, a few Jewish families and a few Asian families. I didn't feel out of place at all. We then walked around 181st street for a while, it was interesting to see a number of Hispanic families headed to the park for a 4th of July cookout, though it may have just been a "day off" cookout. I wonder what their idea of the 4th is? Wish I had asked that. After that we took the subway up to Dykman St. (2 stations to the North) and visited a larger park with a large water play fountain. This playground area was much larger and spread out, leaving less room for natural socialization and more personal space. I didn't have one conversation at this park whereas at the other park I had four in about the same amount of time. I didn't feel out of place necessarily it just wasn't natural to approach people for conversations. Though I must say that Matthias did make a friend at each park, even the second one where the boy spoke only spanish, they still had great fun together. The second park was extremely diverse with Hispanics, Asians, African-Americans, Jews and Indians all represented. In fact I saw only one other Caucasian family, but when I walked by them I could tell they were not "Americans" because their accents were very thick, possibly Eastern-European?

We walked down the street and had an amazing cheap lunch at a Dominican Restaurant where we were the only diners. I think that is the reason lunch was so cheap, they seem to have more of a nighttime crowd where it looked like the place turned into a Discotheque. So maybe they are trying to get more business. We will definitely go back, they had great portions, amazing food, awesome prices and friendly staff, Jarett spoke to them in Spanish and I practiced a little bit.

I am very excited about the neighborhood we are living in and look forward to getting to know more of this unique area. The kids are adjusting pretty well and getting used to sleeping in the same room (that is harder for me than it is for them), but they love riding the subway and a getting a crash course in being flexible!

Pleasures Forevermore or Deal of the Day?

Jarett — Mon, 24 Jan 2011 18:55:50 +0000

Anyone who knows me well is already aware that one of my passions is finding great deals; basically, getting something very nice for very little! I love to find out the best places to buy things. Groupon and Living Social daily deal sites with their 50% off are like music to my ears! So this weekend I participated in every discount diva's dream; a girls trip (no kids or husbands allowed) to the Gap Clearance Center outside of Cincinnati. This place is the mother of all outlets, it's about the size of a grocery store with racks and racks of clothes from Gap, Old Navy, and Banana Republic with deals ranging from 50 cent bins to jeans for $5. We got there around 9:30 and I didn't stop until 4:30, not even for lunch! My greatest find was a 3 in 1 rain/snow/fleece jacket exactly Matty's size that I found in a cheap bin because it had an inconsequential broken zipper pull. The best part is that I had almost bought the same exact coat at Gap only two weeks earlier for $35 (which was 50% off the original price of $68). So how much did I spend on this amazing coat...$1.99!!!!! Crazy, right? I was in heaven...or was I?

Tomorrow I am leading a small group at our women's bible study for church so before I left for the weekend I did the lesson to begin preparing. It was on Psalm 16. I was very excited to study this Psalm in particular because last fall in our bible study we talked some about spiritual idols and the Lord revealed to me that I sought for my pleasures and joy more from this earth(TV, shopping deals, etc.) than from spending time in His Presence. So I decided to memorize Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your righthand are pleasures forevermore" taking an active step to remind myself that God and God alone is the source of all true joy and pleasure. This was the perfect lesson to study before leaving for my trip this weekend. So in my preparations again today I reflected on this weekend and realized the greatest part of the whole trip was all the hours and hours of time in the car with my sister and other sweet friends. The Lord met us many times on the 14+ hours on the road. I so clearly recognized that the pleasure of finding a great deal on clothing is utterly fleeting compared to the joy of Christ in our relationships! Though I had fun searching out great buys, my true enjoyment came from spending time with those whom Christ has thankfully put in my life and reflecting on what He has done in our lives.

I will probably always enjoy finding a great deal but I will and have already received so much more joy! "I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken. Therefore my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure." Psalm 16:8-9. Where do you find your pleasure?

SuperGod vs. Superman

Jarett — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 01:46:15 +0000

Today I had the hardest moment for motherhood I have yet had to experience. Many people know that my five year old Matthias "Matty" loves superheroes. In fact, his fifth birthday on December 16th we had a superhero bash where Matty dressed as Superman and all his friends as Ironman, Spiderman, Batman and the like (check out Jarett's awesome comic book style video of it under the Video's section). We have encouraged this passion of his and at the same time have had many opportunities to explain to him that the reason people are drawn to superheroes is that they contain a glimpse (or small picture as we told him) of the power that God has. As cool as each superhero is, they are only a shadow of the true power Jesus Christ contains.

This past week Matty developed a severe ear infection/ rupture due to weeks of congestion. Today during our second trip to the doctor it was so bad that as soon as she touched his ear he was in such pain it brought him to tears. Then she told us that he would need an antibiotic shot. The last shot he had received a year ago he had taken like a champ and so I thought he would be ok, but I underestimated the amount of pain he was in with his ear and how much that elevated his fear of introducing anymore pain. I tried to tell him that the shot of medicine was like a bunch of little superheroes that where going to travel through his body and fight the infection, aka the "bad guys". I thought that I had him calmed down by trying to get him to show me how the superheroes were going to fight the infection. "Would it be like Karate or more like wrestling?", trying to get him to act it out for me. But then they came in with the shot and thus began the worst experience of my motherhood. He begged and pleaded "Please Mom don't make me do this! Please anything but this... I am scared. Please I am scared." But after 5 min of trying to calm him down it was only getting worse and the nurse had already been there 30 min after closing time trying to help us. I had to physically wrestle my son to the table as he screamed and pleaded as to why I was making him do this, knowing that if he didn't have the antibiotic his ear would only get much worse. (We had tried oral antibiotic and it was getting worse rapidly) I had to hold my son, my child, not a baby who is crying, but a child who is begging and pleading to not do this to him, as he received a shot I knew would only be more painful than necessary because of his tense muscles and inability to relax. I bawled as I held him there wishing I could just stop this as he asked.

We finally left the doctors office an hour after they were supposed to close as I promised him treats and rewards. He asked me near panicked why I was crying and I told him that they were happy tears that the shot was over and now he would be better, not able to explain how emotionally horrific that was for me too. I waited to even call Jarett knowing that I couldn't yet retell the experience without breaking down and alarming Matty all the more. We stopped by and got the smoothie I had promised Matty and then made our way to Old Navy where I told Matty I would buy him a Superman shirt which I knew they sold. We found the shirt but they were also having a clearance sale and as I was looking through I found a pair of Superman pajamas. There was only one pair and in his size for 80% off! I know most people would question why I added an exclamation point to that sentence, but see, my son's favorite superhero is Superman. As "super" as he may be, he unfortunately hasn't had as many popular movies lately as Ironman, Batman or Spiderman. So finding Superman merchandise has been a little hard, mostly online at top dollar, plus shipping. So finding this felt like a Super God moment lifting both of our spirits!

Once back in the car and again trying to explain to him how those little "superhero" like antibiotics were fighting his infection, Matty said to me "But mom there is only one Superhero that can be inside of me and that is Jesus!" Oh what an amazing God to put something like that in the mind of a child! Later after I told him that we were going to get pizza for dinner he said this was an awesome day. Oh, if only I had the heart of a child and was able to truly focus on the blessings more than the hardships! He then said "Mom, I know you are trying to do all this to make me not feel so bad... I love you!" If only I was able to so clearly recognize all the things Christ does for me everyday!

Finding those Superman pajamas felt like a SuperGod thing! And I will always take my super God over any super man.

summer

Jarett — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 01:14:34 +0000

This summer has been full of a lot of ups and downs. Time at the pool has been a great up, but the 100+ heat for over a month, a major down! Jarett has been working doing landscaping with his father down in Atlanta which has been so nice for a number of reasons; two being much more time with his family and more flexibility in his work week so we can focus on support-raising more. One hard part however is that this arrangement takes Jarett to Atlanta every week from Sunday night until about Wednesday. It has been interesting trying to learn to parent with dad a few hours away. I had usually left serious discipline issues up to Jarett but you can’t exactly threaten your four year old “Wait until you father gets home…two days from now!” But I know that this is merely a stage in our lives and I feel this is a little bit of a way the Lord is trying to stretch me. Flexibility and change have never been strong attributes of mine but I know they are something that I am going to have to learn to deal with a lot on the mission field!

Support-raising has been an up and down journey as well. It has been very encouraging to know so many people are really interested in our journey towards mission work in Mexico and I have had many uplifting conversations. Yet when you look at the stats and numbers, our departure still feels so far away. I know that the Lord is fully in control but it is easy to start thinking I have to get out there more or maybe say things in a better way. I know these are just thoughts of insecurity and trying to takes things into my own hands. So, I want to spend more time working on our prayer support team. I have thought about this for some time but I haven’t taken action yet so I am going to start now. A friend of mine suggested a plan that I really like of setting aside a day each month to spend a few minutes in prayer for where the Lord has our family. She suggested people taking the day of their birthday so for me it would be the 15^th of each month. So I would like to formally get this started by getting a calendar together of monthly prayer supporters. Please let me know if you would be interested in supporting us is this way and I will send out monthly email prayer points on the 15^th to keep the prayer supporters up to date.

the plus side

Jarett — Wed, 19 May 2010 01:38:36 +0000

It has been such a blessing lately to have many opportunities to share about what Jarett and I will be doing when we get to Monterrey. The more that I talk about it the more excited I truly get. It can be scary at times to think of all that I will be leaving, the spiritual and social support structures we have developed here in Chattanooga. But the Lord has revealed to me a silver lining, showing me that support raising, something I originally dreaded, could serve to solidify those very relationships I fear losing. Being in Argentina for six months taught me first hand how much I need spiritual and emotional support from like minded believers, how I suffer spiritually without regular bible study interactions with other women and the opportunity to share from the heart. Phone conversations and emailing have always been a challenge for me, but knowing that I have partners who are both financially and spiritually invested in both our ministry and lives will be that blessing in disguise and huge help to me as we minister far from "home".

Thanksgiving at the Cabin

Jarett — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 21:10:44 +0000

So i am finally taking the time to sit down and write something on here. Sorry for the delay.

We had a great time at Jarett's parents cabin for thanksgiving. We had a lot of time together visiting and waiting for turkeys to fry. (which was amazing by the way, i love fried turkey but especially the way uncle Bill makes it) It is always so nice to go up to the cabin and get a chance to get away from everything (literally it is 30 min to the closest grocery store) and just hang out with family. Matty had a great time following the men around and looking for sprigs for Jarett's Aunt Melonia. We told Matty to go out and find a stick with a lot of little sticks attached to it and he came back with a stick with 6 little nubs(he counted them)! So we told him that the branches needed to be longer so Aunt Melonia could put christmas lights on them so back out he went. A few minutes later he came back dragging a stick twice as tall as he is with "too many sticks to count, mommy" Throughout the day he kept dragging more sprigs onto the porch because of course she would want to fill her car up with sprigs and he was such a good "stick-finder". We have been having Matty pray during our mealtimes lately so i thought it would be cute to have him pray before we ate our thanksgiving meal. This was what he prayed

"The Lord is my sheperd, I shall nod wand. I love God... he is beautiful. I love sticks... I love to find sticks...the end." So adorable!